I'm Not Okay
by Fall at the Romance
Summary: This is an ORIGINAL piece about a depressed teenage girl. She has a hard past, and an even harder future.
1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day in Aqueduct City. Being that summer was about to begin, it was sunny, with a slight breeze to cool the day off. Luckily, it was a Saturday, so the school children could enjoy this nice day. Though, none of this weather mattered to Eren Anderson, for she was hiding in her room, blaring music. Her older brother and his girlfriend were both at work, and no one else lived in the house to hear it. _Irresistible _had ended with Patrick Stump's final notes, and the next song began.

_I never…_

_said I'd lie and wait forever…_

_If I did we'd be together_

_I can't always just forget her_

A group of kids ran through her yard, chasing each other with a large twig. All of the townhouses lined up perfectly, all identical to one another. Eren had opened her window, not caring whether or not her music echoed off the walls. She was sprawled out on the soft, beige carpet. The time on her phone said that it was almost eleven. She hadn't eaten breakfast, and planned on skipping lunch, too. Her fluffy pomeranian, Grass Stains, was cuddling in the nook of Eren's elbow. Part of the dog's fur was red and sticky, from the blood of Eren's cuts. She was only wearing her blue _Panic! at the Disco _shirt, for she wasn't planning on going anywhere, and no one was coming home until late that night.

After the last song on her playlist ended, Eren went to the bathroom, leaving Grass Stains alone in her bedroom. It was a very small room, barely big enough to fit a nook bed. She had several large blankets on her bed, even though it got hot at night. Underneath, she had a desk with a bookshelf attached, and a dresser. They were squeezed together to allow a path to Eren's closet. It was a very small closet, full of dark hoodies, band shirts, and jeans. The only colorful item was a red skirt, that she only wore when she had to dress up. In front of the furniture was a small patch of open ground, and a large window. The bedroom door almost couldn't open all the way. It led to a narrow hallway, with only two other doors.

One of those doors led to the laundry room, which was overflowing with clothes that needed to be washed. It was a mixture of black articles, button ups and ties, and a lot of nurse uniforms. The other door led to Eren's brother, Jonas, and his girlfriend, Liz's room. Their room was slightly bigger than Eren's room, though not by much. A staircase next to the laundry room led to the kitchen and living room. It was a small house, but not because the couple couldn't afford a nicer one; it was because they couldn't keep up with a nicer one. They were rarely home, anyways, so it worked well for the three.

Eren went back to her room, her long auburn-black hair trailing behind her, her side-sweep bangs which were the color of the sunset, bouncing with her steps. She had large, dark-brown eyes, and a long, narrow face. She was very pretty, though she didn't think so. She attracted the attention of many boys, but her timidity was often in the way. She was a very small girl; short and thin. She hadn't needed to buy new clothes for a year and a half.

Grass Stains perked up her head when Eren burst in the door. Eren grabbed her phone and dog, and climbed the ladder of her bunk bed. She often kept her room very cold, but not because she got hot easily. She just liked it cold. She hid under the blankets, setting her phone on a box she kept on the top bunk. She laid there for the rest of the day, and eventually fell asleep with the dog.

"Eren?" someone was shaking her. "Eren?" they whispered. Eren bolted up, rubbing her eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"Were you crying?"

Eren felt a wet sensation on her hands, from where she had rubbed her eyes. She recalled the dream she had had that night. It had been back at her old house, where she, Jonas, and their father had lived. Her father had been beating her, just the way he used to, before Defax had taken her and Jonas away from him.


	2. Chapter 2

She had often found herself dreaming this dream.

"You get over here, you idiot!" Eren's father screamed. Eren, again, was being punished, again, for existing. She was only five years old in this dream.

Eren tried to run, but her dad grabbed her hair, yanking her back. She yelped out in pain, but her dad clamped her mouth shut with his hand, to avoid the neighbors hearing. He punched her nose, hitting her mouth as well. Blood dripped onto his hand, and on the floor. He threw the child down, dragging her by the leg down the hall, and up the stairs. He tossed her into the hall closet, slamming the door closed, and locking Eren in the dark. She curled into a ball, silently weeping.

"You next!" she heard her father shout at Jonas. A loud bang shook the house, and a cry could be heard from just about anywhere. A whipping sound followed it. Her father had gotten out his belt, and whipped Jonas. He screamed for help, though no one could hear him. Jonas had been twelve at the time. The closet downstairs creaked, as if it was being opened quickly, and another loud bang followed.

The baby, Kennedy, wailed, for all the noise had awoken her. Their father grunted. The baby continued to cry until a loud BANG. There was silence. The silence stretched on for hours, until Eren had cried herself to sleep.

"You were screaming in your sleep, again," the present Jonas told her.

"Oh," Eren replied, "Sorry,"

"Go get dressed," Jonas ordered.

"Why? Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you to another therapist," he said. Eren sighed. She had been to over twenty different therapists and was in and out of about five mental institutions and boarding schools within the last eight years.

Jonas left as Eren descended the ladder. She opened her closet and pulled out her _My Chemical Romance _sweatshirt. It was really hot in her room, so she pulled out her black shorts. They barely covered the scars on her legs. She shoved her phone in her pocket and hid her blades in a box of pads.

"Are you ready to go!?" Jonas yelled up the stairs.

"Yeah, one sec!" she replied. She pulled a pair of socks over her feet, and grabbed a pair of black high-top converse to put on in the car. She dashed down the stairs.

The sun was blinding as Eren stepped out of the door. She squinted as she made her way to the little five-seater car Jonas and Liz shared.

"Are there even any therapists I haven't seen?" she asked.

"Yes, there's this new lady, Clairine Jones," Jonas replied.

Eren sighed. She had been to so many 'new' people before. They never knew how to deal with people as bad as her.

The car finally arrived at a large brick office building. Jonas handed Eren a piece of paper with a lot of letters and numbers on it.

"Give this to your therapist," he told her.

"I'm going alone?" she asked.

"Yeah, I gotta go to work today."

"Oh. Bye," she said and slid out of the car. It was about midday on Sunday, as she walked up to the big double doors.

Inside the building were two glass offices and a creaky-looking set of stairs. Eren ascended the steps, and found herself in a waiting room. It led to another glass office and a hallway.

"Hello!" said the lady in the class office.

"Um, my brother just dropped me off I'm supposed to see Ms. Clairine..." Eren said, shyly.

"Right this way!" the lady left the office and led the teen down the hall, to a door.

She left, leaving Eren alone. She knocked on the door.

"Come in," said a voice.


End file.
